Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: In this heartfelt reflection, I share my approach to playing games with my children without “letting them win” and how my daughter’s persistence led to a genuine victory that brought more satisfaction than any manufactured win could have provided. I explore the concept of honesty versus “white lies” in parenting and invite Christian fathers to consider how truthfulness builds stronger character in our children.
What?
I played Connect Four with both of my kids recently. My daughter Liz lost three consecutive games in the morning – one quickly, one at medium pace, and one where she carefully counted out the last three moves before realizing she’d lost. Later that day after school, we played again, and during our second game, she legitimately won after counting out the moves. The joy and value of that authentic win was immensely greater than if I had simply let her win.
Why?
I’m sharing this because I’ve never believed in throwing games with my kids. I might play mindlessly at times, but I don’t deliberately play in their favor. If they ask if I tried my hardest, I’m honest rather than telling a “white lie” to build them up artificially. This approach challenges the common parenting tactic of manufacturing success for our children.
Lesson
What impressed me most was my daughter’s persistence. Instead of giving up when facing repeated losses (which I sometimes see in my children and struggle with), she stayed engaged and ultimately earned a real victory. This experience reinforces that authentic achievement following persistence creates deeper satisfaction and teaches more valuable life lessons than artificially engineered success.
Apply
Consider your approach to gaming with your children. Do you “let them win”? Do you tell “white lies” about your effort to protect their feelings? While there’s no judgment here, I encourage you to reflect on whether complete honesty might actually serve your children better in the long run, teaching them the value of persistence and the authentic joy of earned victory.
You be blessed.
Honest Parenting: The Value of Earned Victory and Truth with Our Children
