Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Christian father and business leader shares a powerful moment when his 9-year-old son pointed out his tendency to see work everywhere, revealing how perfectionism and “doing it right” mindsets can rob us of peace. This authentic story explores the struggle between maintaining high standards and experiencing true rest, offering valuable insights for Christian men seeking balance between achievement and fulfillment.
What?
I got busted by my 9-year-old son last night. We were waiting for our older son to come over for dinner with his fiancé, and we were running around outside, getting the grill warmed up for our first grill of the season. My son kept asking about different things – “Can we have a fire?” When I said the fire pit wasn’t out, he suggested we get it out. I immediately started listing all the obstacles: “Well, there’s rocks in the way,” and “We have to do this and that first.”
That’s when he stopped me, looked at me, and said something that left me speechless: “Dad, work, work, work everywhere your eyes go. You just see work.” I looked down in shame, and there at my feet was a dirty mat that needs to be put away for the summer. I just stared at it, feeling caught in my habit of seeing tasks everywhere and no fun.
Why?
I struggle with this – I don’t think it’s perfectionism exactly, though there may be an element of that. Part of it is just “doing it the right way.” I was raised that the countertop in the kitchen is always clean enough to eat off of. If you spill something on the counter, you can pick it up and eat it, then wipe up your mess. Everything’s always cleaned up, always that way. My wife was raised differently, and my kids are halfway between, being half me and half my wife.
But everywhere I look, there’s work, work, work. We did so much on the house in the last year and a half, but I still see more – sweep the porch, get the summer furniture out, clear out our guest rooms. Even when I sit by the fire, usually I’m thinking about what needs to be done in the yard.
Lesson
The bigger question I’m wrestling with is whether that sense of peace I’m looking for is actually available. Is it possible to look around and find nothing that needs to be done? Nothing to add to the to-do list? No “we’ve got to get this fixed or that fixed”?
I’m searching for that resolution of “everything’s calm, cool, and collected” where I can sit down, read a book, sit by the fire without my mind racing to the next task. But maybe I’m following a false delusion. Maybe that perfect state of completion doesn’t exist, and the peace has to come from within despite the unfinished tasks around me. A new mindset. A paradigm shift.
Apply
Take a moment to reflect on your own “work, work, work” mindset. What false delusion might you be following? Is there a perfect state you’re trying to achieve that’s actually keeping you from experiencing peace in the present? Consider whether you might be setting impossible standards for yourself and your environment that rob you of joy and rest. What mindset or paradigm do you need to shift?
You be blessed.
The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Finding Peace When You See Work Everywhere
