Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover how social proof can either elevate your Kingdom leadership or undermine your God-given authority. Learn to discern between cultural pressure and divine guidance through a practical framework that filters decisions through scripture, the Holy Spirit, and Kingdom values rather than worldly success metrics.
What?
I was reading Robert Cialdini’s book “Influence” when I came across two studies that stopped me cold. The first was about canned laughter on TV shows. Researchers discovered that audiences laughed longer and more often when they heard those fake laugh tracks we all claim to hate. The most shocking part? The canned laughter worked best on the worst jokes – the ones that wouldn’t normally get any laughs at all. Every person claimed they disliked the laugh tracks, yet their behavior completely contradicted what they said.
The second study was even darker – the tragic case of Kitty Genovese, who was attacked and killed in New York while 38 people watched from their apartment windows. Not one person called police during the 30-minute attack. It wasn’t that people had become heartless – it was social proof that paralyzed them. Each witness looked around, saw no one else acting, and concluded it must not be an emergency. They called it pluralistic ignorance.
I realized I’ve experienced this myself at a car wreck outside a busy coffee shop. Everyone just sat there watching until I started pointing at people and giving orders. I broke the social proof of “it’s not my problem.”
Why?
These examples reveal something crucial about how we can be influenced as Kingdom family leaders. Social proof operates in our lives every single day, usually without us realizing it. When we see other dads coaching soccer, don’t we sometimes question if we’re doing enough? When we see business leaders making aggressive moves, don’t we wonder if we’re being too conservative? When we scroll social media and see perfect family moments, doesn’t part of us wonder what’s wrong with our marriage?
This is where it gets dangerous for Christian leaders – we often look to the wrong crowd for validation. We let cultural metrics, worldly success stories, or even Christians who don’t share our specific calling influence decisions that should be filtered through scripture, prayer, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Lesson
Social proof isn’t inherently good or bad – it’s a tool that can build or destroy depending on how we use it. The key is learning to discern which crowd you’re taking proof from. Are you looking to the culture for validation or to the Kingdom? Are you following the successful but spiritually empty, or the faithful who’ve walked the path before you?
As Kingdom family leaders, we need Kingdom proof – evidence from the cloud of witnesses who’ve gone before us in faith. We need social proof from men who’ve successfully integrated their calling with their leadership, built businesses that honor God, and raised families rooted in Kingdom values. But even more importantly, we have the Holy Spirit as our ultimate sounding board.
I use this framework when social proof pressures hit: What does scripture say about this principle? What nudging am I sensing from the Holy Spirit? Am I being influenced by people whose values align with God’s Kingdom? If I made this decision based solely on my relationship with God, what would I choose?
Apply
Write down three significant decisions or situations you’re facing right now in your family, business, personal or spiritual life. For each one, identify whose opinion or example is influencing you most. Write their names down and ask yourself: Are these the people I want to emulate spiritually and categorically, or am I just following them because they seem successful or everyone else respects them?
Next, for each item, write one sentence about what you believe the Holy Spirit is nudging you toward, regardless of what others are doing. What Kingdom proof can you find from scripture or from faithful men who’ve walked this path?
Keep this paper visible this week and let it remind you to filter social proof through Kingdom values and the Spirit’s voice rather than cultural pressures. Share something valuable you discovered in the Doobly Doo below this video – something that can empower others and build His Kingdom.
You be blessed!
Breaking Free from the Wrong Kind of Social Proof: A Kingdom Family Leader’s Guide to Godly Influence
