Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover why you get what you’re really looking for, not what you say you want, and how the doubt “if it’ll work” holds back the full-on pursuit that actually makes it work.
What?
I had a humbling experience yesterday. I reached out to five or ten, probably ten of my friends and family to get some feedback. I asked a question: where in my life do you see myself limiting myself?
The first reaction I have is I only got like thirty percent reply rate. It wasn’t like it was an email. I guess I shoulda called each person by the phone because that’s more intimate. People are looking for intimacy.
The responses I did get said “What do you really, really want right now?” I said “That’s funny because I’ve been trying to grow this ministry business. This is a business that I’m trying to grow.”
One of the comments was “You’re kinda throwing it out there and seeing if that’s what you wanna do or whatnot. It’s not like fully, full on.” I’m like “Oh, wow. You’re right.”
As I heard that, I just said thank you for taking the time to really be honest and transparent and truthful in the feedback that you gave me. As I processed that, one of the three people said “We get what we’re after. We get what we’re looking for. Am I looking to grow this into a business? Yeah. I would really like that.”
What’s going on in my head? Ministries aren’t businesses. And that’s false. Church is a business. Ministry is a business. Helping people breakthrough and have transformations is business. That’s just part of my upbringing, part of my things. Really getting through that blocker is gonna help me get to the next level.
Overall, the key, the moral of the story is we get what we’re really looking for. He said some of your content, you’re like somewhat putting it out there and somewhat not. Part of it was just not knowing what I’m looking for. Do I wanna stay in software full time? Yeah. Do I wanna do a ministry business? Yeah. If it’ll work.
That’s the doubt, that question in my head – “if it’ll work” – is the part that might be holding it all back.
Why?
I share this because we say we want something while hedging our bets and wondering “if it’ll work.” We throw it out there and see what happens instead of going full on. Then we wonder why we’re not getting results.
The feedback stung: “You’re kinda throwing it out there, not fully full on.” But it was true. I’ve been somewhat putting content out there and somewhat not because I wasn’t sure what I’m really looking for. Do I want software full time? Yeah. Do I want ministry business? Yeah. If it’ll work.
That “if it’ll work” is the blocker. It’s the doubt that keeps you from full pursuit, which is exactly what prevents it from working.
Lesson
We get what we’re really looking for, not what we say we want. When you’re half-hearted in pursuit – throwing it out there to see if it works – you get half results. Full results require full-on pursuit without the “if it’ll work” hedge.
The blocker in my head was “ministries aren’t businesses.” False belief from upbringing. Church is a business. Ministry is a business. Helping people breakthrough is business. But that false belief kept me from fully pursuing it as a real business.
When someone gave honest feedback – “You’re kinda throwing it out there, not fully full on” – my first reaction was “Oh wow, you’re right.” That’s the value of asking “Where do you see me limiting myself?” You can’t see your own blocks clearly. You need others to mirror back what they observe.
Only thirty percent replied. Probably because a text message isn’t intimate enough. Phone calls create intimacy. People are looking for intimacy, not just information exchange. That’s a lesson itself – the medium matters for the message.
But the core lesson: we get what we’re really looking for. If you’re looking to see “if it’ll work,” that doubt holds it back from working. If you’re looking to make it work, you go full on and it works. The question in your head determines the outcome.
Apply
This week, identify one area where you’re throwing it out there to see “if it’ll work” instead of going full on. Write down the doubt or false belief holding you back from full pursuit. Then ask one trusted friend or accountability partner: “Where do you see me limiting myself in this area?” Listen to their honest feedback without defense. Decide if you’re really looking to make it work or just testing to see if it might work.
You be blessed!
