Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover why serving others is the fastest way out of self-focused despair and inadequacy. Learn how the simple act of giving – time, energy, or blood – shifts your focus from “I can’t” to abundance, and why Kingdom Family Leaders find freedom through blessing others.
What?
I gave blood this morning and I was thinking of times when I’m down and feeling like I just can’t get it done. There’s not enough. I’m not doing the right things. I’m not enough. I can’t get the next gig. I can’t figure out the next sale. I can’t get the next job. I can’t please my wife. I can’t please my kids. I can’t do this. I can’t do that. All that thinking of I can’t, I can’t, I can’t just drags you down.
But it’s moments like giving blood this morning – those are moments of just giving and serving and loving on others. And it just makes you feel better. You don’t have to be down very far. You don’t even have to be down. As soon as you start thinking about you, you come down. When you’re grateful, you come up. When you’re serving and loving on others, you come way up. When you’re giving, you’re sharing, you’re helping, it brings you up.
If you feel any of those things I said in that list before, find someone you can give to. Share your time, share your energy, share your gifts, run to the store for them, help them rake their leaves. Find those spaces and places to give. And automatically, your despair just goes, runs away. It flows away. God drives it out.
When I watch The Chosen and Jesus just sits out and talks, touches, and listens to people deep into the night. Then He returs to the apostles and they say “You can’t believe you went so long, here’s some food and rest” trying to bless Him. But all He’s doing is blessing others. When we are blessing others, we are blessing ourselves, and we feel better.
Why?
I share this because people get trapped in spirals of “I can’t” thinking that creates paralyzing self-focus. When you’re consumed with your inadequacies, failures, and shortcomings, you sink deeper into despair. The cycle feeds itself – the more you focus on what you can’t do, the more evidence you find of your inadequacy. The more your brain works on “CAN’T”.
The breakthrough isn’t positive thinking or self-affirmation. It’s getting outside yourself through service. When you shift from “I can’t please my wife” to “How can I serve someone today?” something shifts. Your focus moves from scarcity to abundance, from inadequacy to contribution.
Lesson
The principle is counterintuitive: when you feel you have nothing to give, giving is exactly what lifts you out. Thinking about yourself brings you down automatically. Gratitude brings you up. Serving others brings you way up. This isn’t just psychology – it’s Kingdom economics where giving produces more than hoarding.
The “I can’t” list represents self-focused despair: I can’t get the job, please my wife, satisfy my kids, close the sale. Every statement focuses inward on your performance and adequacy. But the moment you shift to giving – donating blood, raking leaves, running errands, listening to someone – your despair runs away because you’re no longer the center of your own universe.
Christ modeled this perfectly. He gave continuously – time, energy, healing, teaching – often to the point where the disciples worried about His wellbeing. But blessing others blessed Him. The same principle applies to you: when you bless others, you bless yourself and feel better.
This doesn’t mean ignoring real problems or using service to avoid necessary work. But it does mean recognizing that self-focused rumination creates more problems than it solves, while other-focused service creates solutions you didn’t expect.
Apply
Make a list of your current “I can’t” statements. Write them all down. Then identify one person you can serve today – not to fix your problems, but simply to bless them. Rake leaves, donate blood, run an errand, listen deeply to someone who needs to talk. Notice how your despair shifts when you stop thinking about you.
This week, when you catch yourself in “I can’t” thinking, immediately ask “Who can I serve right now?” Make it your automatic response to self-focused despair. Track how this shifts your emotional state and perspective on your challenges.
You be blessed!
The Antidote to “I Can’t”: Why Giving Lifts You Out of Despair
