Top o’ the Mornin’ to Ya!
TLDR: Discover how a challenging family sailing experience revealed the critical importance of creating safe spaces for honest communication in Kingdom leadership. Learn why having all the information is essential for making the best decisions and how authentic transparency strengthens family bonds and leadership effectiveness.
What?
We had what I can only describe as a less than desirable sailing experience yesterday. The waves were going about three to four feet – my wife says 15 to 20 feet – and we had the little ones aboard for what was supposed to be a casual weekend race. We were cruising around the buoys in a special handicapped start where the slowest boats start first and fastest boats start last.
Here’s where it gets interesting: I didn’t read the race instructions this year and missed one rule change. I started the course going the wrong direction. The boat was going boom, boom, boom, up and down. People were uncomfortable, getting wet from water splashing up on deck.
My daughter came back to sit next to me while I was driving the boat. I asked if she was okay, and she said “yeah, I’m okay” – but there was a misalignment between her tone of voice and her words. So I asked directly: “Do you want to quit?”
Some of the other adults and I were already discussing that topic. She responded, “I can do it, dad. I don’t want you to lose the race.” That’s when I told her it’s okay – we don’t need to finish the race. With the young kids on there, realizing we were going the wrong way around the course, it was an easy decision to turn around and go back.
Why?
This challenging day on the water became a powerful teaching moment about something fundamental to Kingdom leadership: we are on the same team. As we talked with the kids on the way home, I realized this experience revealed a crucial principle about honest communication and decision-making in families and leadership.
My daughter was trying to be strong, trying to protect what she thought was important to me – winning the race. But her attempt to hide her discomfort was actually preventing me from making the best decision for our family. This is exactly what happens in leadership when people don’t feel safe to share their real thoughts and feelings.
Lesson
As Kingdom family leaders, coaches, fathers, and husbands, sometimes our role is to encourage, challenge, and push through difficulties. Other times our best decision is to say “okay, let’s let it go.” The key is having all the information needed to make the best decision possible.
When people cover up their real thoughts, feelings, and experiences, we cannot make the best decisions. We need complete information – not just what people think we want to hear, but the truth about what they’re experiencing. This requires creating an environment where people feel safe to be honest, even when that honesty might be uncomfortable.
The important principle I shared with our children is this: I need all the information to make the best decision. Keeping in mind that we are a family, we are on the same team, we are on God’s team. When we have all the information, people may not always like the answers, but sometimes they will. The goal isn’t always to push through – sometimes the wisest decision is to change course.
It’s great to be strong and buck up, but giving everyone around you all the information they need enables them to make the best decisions in life. This creates trust, strengthens relationships, and leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.
Apply
Think of a situation where you may have not given the whole story – where you later learned you should have shared your real thoughts, deeper feelings, what you truly felt, the underlying truth of what was happening.
Write that situation down and reflect on what prevented you from sharing honestly at the time. Was it fear of disappointing someone? Trying to appear strong? Not wanting to be a burden?
Now consider: What would have happened if you had been completely honest in that situation? How might the outcome have been different? Share your reflection in the Doobly Doo below to add value for other Kingdom leaders who might be facing similar challenges with authentic communication.
You be blessed!
We’re On The Same Team: How a Rough Sailing Day Taught Me About Truth, Trust, and Kingdom Leadership
